I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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