i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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