No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize