Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize