Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize