No subtext here. People are naked.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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