He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize