sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The Olympian is in my bed
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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