Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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