i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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