sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She's JV to your varsity
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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