I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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