I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize