So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize