I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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