Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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