Her vagina should come with caution tape.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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