I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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