is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize