I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize