Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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