Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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