you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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