Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize