The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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