Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize