The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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