She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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