man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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