It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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