I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize