New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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