I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
don't judge my taste in strippers
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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