Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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