I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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