its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
me + whiskey = a bad person
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize