she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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