I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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