it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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