YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize