Kiss
Puke
and she was petting her beer can
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize