The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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