3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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