i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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