WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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