Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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