who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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