I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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