I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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