Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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